You know... God's grace is something we're never really going to understand. And I don't think we're supposed to. In truth, we're supposed to just rejoice in it. However, God showed me a funny little parallel to His grace that I think needs to be shared.
Week six of Fuge, on the last day of Rec, all of us Centrifuge staffers were going to get up at the crack of dawn (and by crack of dawn, I mean 5:30 AM) and go help our Rec Director set up the rec field at 6:00 AM. Definitely earlier than I wanted to get up... but CJ did it everyday, so what is one early morning of service going to cost me, right? So I set my alarm for 5:30, knowing it was going to be more than a struggle to throw myself out of bed and go set up the field. I mean... come on... it's week six, no matter what I do, I'm tired, and it's the last day of a grueling week... it's going to seem impossible.
So my alarm goes off. 5:30 AM. I groggily turned it off and said to myself in my head, "Okay... get up..."
So my phone rang. 6:15 AM. My stomach sank. I answered the phone... and it was, of course, my team mates wondering where I was. I don't even remember if I said actual words to them... I just remember feeling unbearably guilty and super awful.
As if I wasn't feeling horrible enough for not doing my part, with their spare time, my team mates brought me back coffee and then went out and got me donuts, because I was running late and wasn't going to have time to get breakfast before our morning meeting.
What was this?!
Coffee??? To wake me up... after I had slept in???
Donuts??? To feed me... after I slept too long and couldn't get my own lazy self some breakfast???
It didn't make sense. I SLEPT IN! I didn't do my part. I did absolutely NOTHING to deserve forgiveness for not doing my job... much less free coffee and donuts.
So, as my roommate, Kristy, and I were walking to our morning meeting, I couldn't help but express my frustration and guilt about receiving these blessings that I didn't deserve in the least. And, though she was kind of joking, she said, "It's like the grace of God. We do absolutely nothing to deserve it... but he gives it to us freely, because he loves us."
THAT'S IT.
I can't put it more plainly than that.
So how do we respond to this ridiculously good grace?
I know after I received my undeserved coffee and donuts, all I wanted to do all day was thank my friends. Thank them, and serve them, because they had served me. And not serve them because I was obligated... but serve them because I loved them. Serve them because their acts of love and grace really did mean the world to me, and I wanted to show them that.
In the same way, we should respond to God's grace with acceptance and an unbelievable amount of thankfulness. And because of this unbelievable gift of freedom that God has given us, it should lead us to live a changed life of willingness to serve him. Because, honestly... falling in love with Jesus and turning our whole lives over to him is the most fulfilling life we can live. God has given us his unending love, unending mercy, his only son... his everything. Why wouldn't we want to give him everything in return?
